Self-esteem vs Ego in Social Media

Social media is a strange place at the best of times; full of random thought spews and tiresome clickbait articles shared left, right and centre. It’s amazing how much it’s changed over the years.

Facebook ‘Memories’ has been an interesting update, as it allows an eye-opening glimpse into a timeline of how you used to act and think over the years. One thing that has become unfortunately clear for me, is that when I first started running, I became incredibly BORING in my constant updates.

• “Out running”
• “Going for a run again”
• “Look at me, look at me! I’m running again”
• “Check out how crazy I am! Out running again, lolz” 

Snooze… I was more interesting on social media as a waster. At least then I was funny.

It’s amusing to me now, because every now and then, I find myself silently and hypocritically judging someone for their seemingly self-obsessed postings on social media, and I have to remind myself that I was 10 times worse four or five years ago.

I think the reason is that when something is a brand-new passion in your life, and FINALLY a healthy one, there is a certain amount of easy, positive attention that comes with it, and THAT can be a bit more-ish when you’re a massive attention seeker, as I am.

Wow! You must be CRAZY!! #CaptainExcitement

As a result, I completely lost my filter for what was interesting to others, and became a bit of a broken record to the tune of ‘I’m a crazy running person, always out running all the time’.

However, I make absolutely no apologies for this phase, as it felt at the time, like a necessary method of self-motivation; a kind of affirmation of the new life I was desperately trying to live, and played a crucial role in my development. Not just as a runner, but as a person.

I think there’s a fine line between confidence and ego; self-esteem and arrogance. It’s really hard to get the balance right, especially when it comes to a fitness lifestyle on social media. I occasionally look back at old blog posts of mine and think, ‘who on Earth is this arrogant chancer?’ But then, I’ve also been told by some that I can be far too self-deprecating for someone trying to run a business. So where is the line?

The answer, in my eyes, is that the line is wherever it needs to be that day, and we should all try to recognise that.

Social media is a bit of a narcissistic game, regardless of the subject matter. How many people do we all know, who come across completely different online, to how they are in real life?

I worry about how I come across online more than I probably should do. Hence, why I’ve not written a blog post in over eight months and don’t use social media nearly as much as I used to for fear of being judged. It’s not for lack of trying; I tend to write a paragraph, obsess over it, before losing all faith in everything I’ve ever written, ever, then delete and walk away. That’s my process. It’s worked well since last October.

In a world where we can simply keep scrolling, unfollow or block from our feed entirely; I shouldn’t really need to worry about being ‘boring’, or offending someone with my lifestyle and I don’t think ANYONE should feel that way either. Particularly those trying to better themselves, or promote (without preaching) a healthy, positive life.

Now I’m going to sign-off with another mild, pet-hate of mine on social media, but feels oddly appropriate for the occasion, which are the immortal words:

RANT OVER 😉